bitter cats

Hey gs!

Well apparently 5 am Para likes to complain so what better time to do the Top 6 worst sequels

Please note that with the exception of one of them I haven't seen any of these in a long long time so my complaints may be...vague.

Also please note that I hate sequels.

6. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

 The first movie was this movie that I loved so much I watched it a million times and could recite every line backwards in my sleep.  The second movie I watched a few time and thought it was okay... This movie I think I watched once and then immediately never wanted anything to do with this franchise ever again.  To the point that I haven't even seen the fourth movie.  What is this movie about?  I don't remember?  I don't think I ever understood it.  I do remember there were a lot of Captain Jacks (like multiples of the same guy) which I figure is because they were like "okay people like Jack so let's just put in a LOT of Jacks."  I mean look at that poster.  Those characters we knew and loved from the first movie are just shadowy people lost in the fog!  I don't think this movie needed all the extra racism either now that I think about it. What else happens in this movie?  Oh yeah, Will dies or something but there's some ending with his kid or I don't know.  I have no idea!  Why did there need to be this many movies based on an amusement park ride???? 

5. Zenon Z3

Another trequel, eh?  Well I think that tells you that three times is not always the charm.  Or something.  Do I really remember what this movie is about? No.  Do I remember hating it? Of course I do! See, the basic appeal of at least the first movie is that it's a pretty cool science fiction movie about an average girl in the future.  But fast forward two movies and she's suddenly some kind of celebrity and there's a moon goddess!  Plus there's a super annoying little girl following her around and the whole thing basically revolves around a stupid competition you don't care about.  Sounds like a winner.

 4. The Lion King 1 1/2

Let's first be clear that Timon and Pumba are the worst part of The Lion King.  So this great movie with these two idiots narrating and giving their backstories and ruining The Lion King for you is exactly what I don't want to watch.  Again, I don't remember it too well but I remember a lot of stupid jokes and pretty much just making a mockery of one of the best disney movies.  Great.

3. Shrek the Third

In a surprise twist, Shrek 2 was almost as good as the original, mostly due to the addition of the lovable Puss in Boots.  In Shrek the Third, Puss spends a great deal of the movie in Donkey's body, therefore basically ruining both characters.  This movie isn't even about Shrek.  It's about Justin Timberlake learning some kind of lesson about himself while Shrek drags him along so that Shrek can go back to his swamp.  Again.  The jokes are really tired and I don't see how the King Arthur stuff fits into all this.  Also, those hateful babies.  Those babies are frightening. 

2. Return to Halloweentown

Now, need I remind you that I loved Halloweentown and even more, Halloweentown 2?  Halloweentown 3 or Halloweentown High or whatever it was called was awful, but not nearly as awful as this movie.  The fourth and thankfully last movie in the series.  Why does Marnie have a new face and last name?  It's not clear, but she has the same brother and mother and grandmother so she must be the same girl.  This movie takes place at a college in Halloweentown, but they're not allowed to do magic there so it might as well be a regular college.  There's some kind of contrived romance, I don't even remember what the plot is, and all the characters you loved in the first couple of movies are ruined for you. 

 1. Iron Man 2

I was surprised by how good Iron Man was, and then I was surprised again by how bad Iron Man 2 was.  I mean, in Iron Man Tony is at least somewhat special because he's the only guy with an armored super suit.  In Iron Man 2...everyone has one!  And Tony's suffering from some kind of disease rendering him basically worthless.  Also he spends like the whole movie being an idiot and we're supposed to take the fact that he's dying as an excuse.  I'm not actually sure what his goal was in this movie.  He's like resolved to die and then Fury shows up and gives him the cure but won't let him join the Avengers.  Plus the actor of Rhodey is replaced and it's not an improvement.  The only good part of this movie is Natasha...and I don't even like her.  I hate Robert Downey Jr. but I would be willing to grudgingly admit he's a good actor.  Except then there's this movie.