Sunday, February 21, 2010

Truth and Consequences

'ello friends!

haha that is me being english. but i won't be english because that would be silly and i am not a claude. well i am a claude but not the kinda claude i am talking about. hmm perhaps i should demonstrate to you the two kinds of claudes in this world.

you like that? haha i sure like that! oh girl everyone went to bed i guess but not para because she is incredibly hyper right now! that's so funny because it is almost 4 am but she slept really late today and also she drank some coffee! haha perhaps she should stop talking in third person! ok she plans to stop that right now. right now. right now.

hahah i am so hyperrrrrrrrrrrrrr! AAAAAAAAAAAAH A GOB!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO HE'S GONE!!! no wait he isn't! GOOSEBAG! haha that inspired me to make a meme about that. let me make it really quick. brb.

girl i made the thing! but i gtg because it is getting so risky! so i will put it on here in the morn. byeeee until then!!!

it's the morn now!!! haha i am up so darn early! its not even 11 yet!!!! that is so craaaaaaazy!!!!!!!!! oh girls i can show ya this thing i made now. ok here it is:

you like that too? haha i also made some more of those things because they are just so fun to make! here they are you fools:






haha also i didn't make this but i wanted to share anyway because its quite possibly one of the funniest junks in the darn universe.

HAHAHA WHAT A BIG GIANT GLUGBALL!!!


oh girls idk what to do now because i can't do my punishment now because i am too lazy to get headphones, and i can't work on this other special thing because i am still too lazy to get headphones! haha idk why i am up so early. well its not early for some people but its early for me to be up on a sunday! haha that was such a great gc last night! girl me and hob had a great one line story but gob didn't even read the whole thing i guess! DDDDDDDD: oh girl it would be so funny if i put it on here...haha i will do that because i am too lazy to do anything else!

once upon a time there were two girls: hob and para. they were drinking coffee. they loved the coffee. but they hated desmond. so they decided that after they made coffee, they should hunt him down. they made some really delish coffee first. then they drank the whole pot. and then made some more to drink after they found him. then they began the hunt. they got some special spears to hunt with, and they brought their sniffers to find him by his scent. it was so easy to find him because he was so stinky. so they wandered throug the forest and then they sniffed the most foul stench they have ever experienced. it was desmond, obviously. so they crouched in the bushes so he wouldn't see them. they prepared to POUNCE. they used their tazors to bring him down, then they brought him back to their house. then they each got to choose a knife from their knife drawer. hob began the torture by cutting off one of his fingers. then para sliced off his tongue. this delighted them. then they pulled out the big guns. they made him look at himself in a mirror. he tried to scream but he had no tongue. hob and para clapped. and they screamed with delight. they force fed him his own toes, then they cut off one of his ears and then into the other ear they SCREAMED the names of every single person desmond had ever killed and it took 3 hours! after that they were tired of him. they just wanted him dead. but they had to think up a really painful way to kill the man. they knew of the perfect thing, and here is what they thought up: they decided to cut off one body part at a time and then put each piece into a paper shredder and then burn the remains. so they did that and then they were so happy and they danced and danced the day away. and then they drank some more coffee. the end.

hahahaha that is so giant! but nobody may pass without reading the whole darn thing! D< value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qRH8VJgxElI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" name="movie">



girls im gonna do my quizballs now!








aw girl.

this quiz is here: http://www.youthink.com/quiz.cfm?obj_id=166368

achoo! i just sneezed! achoo! i sneezed again!

aaaaaaaaah i just read the words "coming down" and heard them at the same time! that was so crazy!

haha girl i have to tell you something. its not the morning anymore because not it is like 5 pm. but girl i am still not finished. i have been working on this darn post all day, just about.

ok girls here is the thing...you know that drabble generator? well i love it so much i accidentally made a whole bunch of them. because i had to make at least 1 for all my very face ships! ok but i won't share them all. i will share just 3...or 4...or 5...well we'll see what happens.

The Insane Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Sylar strode along the path, making for Emo Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Loveable Brain, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Hair.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his moist soap just in time to face the chewy man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck dryly, and Sylar barely raised his soap to meet the attack. They fought long and hungrily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Sylar found himself forced to one knee, the man's soap pressed to his awesome eyebrows. I am Peter of Emo Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Loveable Brain. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you at the wall."

But Sylar had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his soap with a twist, overpowered Peter and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Sylar said, looking down upon him.

Peter's eyes shimmered like a shiny new power. "I have underestimated you, Sylar. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Sylar's desire was enflamed. His arm throbbed and all his thoughts were to punch Peter like a cockroach. Sylar caressed Peter's crappy lips and he responded. They came together furiously, and their joining was as fishy as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet wall!" Sylar groaned and punched Peter as sadly as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Sylar said. "That's where I put the Loveable Brain for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed quickly on the grass, forgetful of all but their deadly love. "We will stay together forever," Peter said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Hair never got the Loveable Brain and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

I Saw Claire Kissing Santa Claus

Gretchen woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one chunky box that looked like a dorm room.

Then Gretchen noticed that Claire was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Gretchen thought that she would surprise Claire. Maybe even sneak up behind her and kiss her on her wonderful leg. That always made Claire grumpy.

Gretchen crept loudly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its huge lights, and the presents, heaped up carefully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Claire. Kissing someone.

Gretchen was so angry, she picked up a laptop from a table and threw it perfectly on the bed.

They both looked around.

"Claire, you soft cat!" Gretchen yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Gretchen looked and then rubbed her nose and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Claire said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a gross kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Gretchen said slowly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be mysterious."

That seemed reasonable. Gretchen went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a crunchy potato chip. He made Gretchen's neck feel all chipper.

"You see?" Claire said quietly and Gretchen saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The Adventure Of The Dog

Claire and Sylar were out for a young Valentine's walk on the floor. As they went, Sylar rested his hand on Claire's toe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so special, Claire was filled with flavorful dread.

"Do you suppose it's cute here?" she asked desperately.

"You disgusting silly," Sylar said, tickling Claire with his waffles. "It's completely cool."

Just then, a juicy dog leapt out from behind a pencil and stabbed Sylar in the arm. "Aaargh!" Sylar screamed.

Things looked round. But Claire, although she was pink, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a shrimp and, like mr. muggles during his bath, beat the dog coyly until it ran off. "That will teach you to stab innocent people."

Then she clasped Sylar close. Sylar was bleeding angrily. "My darling," Claire said, and pressed her lips to Sylar's head.

"I love you," Sylar said meakly, and expired in Claire's arms.

Claire never loved again.

Ugly Lang Syne

HRG sipped mysteriously at his drink and stood ugly behind glasses. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel floppy and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how slippery his feet got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, HRG knew very well why he was at the party: to see Tracy.

Ah, Tracy. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her wise eyes made HRG's heart beat like an old memory.

But tonight everyone was masked. HRG peered calmly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Tracy. There, he thought, the woman over by the gun, the beautiful one with the fish mask. It had to be Tracy. No one else could look so hairy, even in a fish mask.

She began to walk HRG's way and HRG started to panic. What if she actually talked to HRG?

Tracy came right up to HRG and HRG thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Tracy said softly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the ice," HRG said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so wet.

Just then, a cold voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

HRG's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Tracy might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Tracy swept HRG into her arms, bent him in the sea, and kissed HRG dangerously, slipping him the tongue and groping his hands.

HRG could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out coldly and pulled Tracy's mask off her face. It was Tracy! "I knew it was you," HRG said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Tracy said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

HRG watched her go. She would be right back, HRG was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.

Bald Love

Rene finished packing. Ever since Peter, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Rene had been meaty.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing hugged him, all was big. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on drugs to become a powerless shirt.

Just then, there was a long knock at the door. Rene opened it and stood there weakly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his head.

When Rene came to, Peter was holding his arm and looking black. "My love," Peter said silently, "I'm sorry for the weepy shock. I've been shipwrecked on a strong island for the last ten years, living like his home country. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my hair in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Rene could hardly believe his Peter had returned. "I will always love you, hair or no hair. Besides, you can cover it up with a power."

They embraced nicely and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was pale.

ok girls so i shared 5 and i hope you can forgive me. aw girl two of those were sad! haha

haha i think this blog post will be super super long!

anyway girls, today was so boring. like besides work on this blog post i didn't really do anything except vacuum my room. aw well. i hope tomorrow will be more interesting. except tomorrow is monday and mondays are no longer the best day of the week. D: well i would still say they are better than tuesdays, and probably also better than wednesdays. idk why but i just hate those days. its like not the beginning of a fresh new week, but not nearing the end either so its so depressing. also on wednesdays i have four classes in the morning and that makes me so irrated. haha i have probably said that so many times already but it is just so true so inbd. haha i am just going on and on about this and it is probably really boring but its like my fingers are typing and they don't want to stop! stop fingers! stop! stop! stooooooooooooooooop! aaaaaah they are out of control! i kolsdkcmsldk can't sjldskmclsklsdjfldsk stips tsmvlksdsdlstosp s lvkjgsjgisdjl aaaaaahoflksdmlmlldjflkj help lkfjklmlckd my fi infvlk mimyu finfer g ffingers kldlvmslkhjtlkmnglljsklmkflsdlkfj

dfsdg
sdg
sdg
sgfginege

finer

help
dfgfsd;g;'dsgl

aha i stoppd them by strting to type wiuth my nose but this is hard

ok no more of that.

brb gotta go eat dinner.

im back! wb! tyt! yqw!

alright girls....im ready to share this really special thing. its a video that i made. except well, its not very good, because i started it a long time ago, so the beginning is not that spectacular, and then the end is not very spectacular because i did it last night and this morning and i was rushing it because i just wanted to get it done but oh well. it has this really awesome song from arthur though! haha i just love this song and one time my friend started singing it and i laughed and laughed and he was like "haha idk why i am singing this song." but ik why he was singing that song! because it is awesome of course! ok here is the vid:

well, what'd you think? did you quite like it? i sure as sugar hope so!

alright....so hob and gob apparently have a lot of questions about a parasite, but i only have one thing to say to them. if you want answers, then you'll have to dig! haha jj i will give you the answers.

what does a parasite look like?
you can find the answer to this in this very blog post! scroll way up to the second pic, and see that little brown thing? that is me. haha well jj because i accidentally drew a parasite looking like a cockroach but inbd because that is generally what i look like. also in the third pic you can see what i look like in my human form (every parasite has a cute little bug form and a cute little human form)

what does a parasite see in sylar?
*witty personality
*bada**ery
*intelligence
*someone who is misunderstood
*good sense of humor
*really cool powers
*great hair
*awesome eyebrows
*pretty eyes
*nice...chest
*also, nice arms
*cool clothes

why does a parasite not gc very much anymore?
well i may have sort of solved this because i realized the sound was turned off so sometimes i would not realize when someone said something, or i would not be be bothered enough to reply. like right now people are saying lots of things and its is going ding ding ding ding ding and its so annoying so i better go say something! ok but also maybe i would say more things if people would not just talk about dr who because I AM SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THAT SHOW!!!! OMZ and sometimes its so annoying because its like
gob: dr who dr who dr who blah blah blah
hob: blah blah dr who
gob: blah dr who blah
hob: blah blah blah we love dr who
gob: dr whooooooooo
hob: more para!
gob: more para!
para: *in her head* wtf am i supposed to say!?!?!?

what is one of parasite secrets?
i am standing right behind you. haha now i am gone! im just too fast! :P

why does a parasite hate desmond so much?
*he helped to kill charlie
*he's ugly
*his voice is annoying
*he stinks

why does parasite hate elle so much?
*she cut peter's hair
*she manipulated/lied to/had sex with sylar
*she is generally annoying

how does a parasite have a hobbit sister?
i was adopted

why does a parasite have a goblin cousin?
see above

why does a parasite like evil fools so much?
because i like people who are hated, also i am evil myself.

is a parasite good or evil?
see above

what does a parasite smell like?
pon farr. haha jj but one time i saw that stench at borders and mother very rudely sprayed it on me, so at one point in my life i did.

what powers does a parasite have?

i have the power of electricity manipulation, and also the power to push my thoughts into other people's heads, although so far it has only worked on my friend ben, and usually accidentally. im working on getting rapid cell regeneration, and also telekinesis.

if a parasite was stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would she wish to have?
haha one time i read wendi the heroes makeup person's answer to that question, and i thought it was funny so i saved it as a draft. here is is: "I'm taking ZQ, soap, handcuffs, whipped cream and a camcorder." haha silly wendi! that's what I'M bringing! haha jj because that is four things. haha jj again that's not what i would bring.

why won't a parasite ever tell a gob the inaprop things she talks about? well because he is too small of course! but ok gob if you really want to, i will show you the vid i was laughing about when you asked this question. but its SOOOOO not approp so i really shouldn't be doing this, but as i am getting punished anyway...oh what the hell, here it is:

hahahahaha

what program does a parasite use to capture video for heroes music videos?
you should ask hob because she is the one who downloaded it.

haha i hope this post takes everyone a really long time to read because it is taking me so long to write the thing!

ok now here is a haiku about bread!

bread bread, crusty bread
sandwiches, bagels, pizza
we love nutella

brb gonna go watch don't look back

back.

brb again. gonna go shower.

nvm. hob stole the shower.

brb gonna try this shower thing again...

back.

ok now i am going to do my darn punishment.

hahaha hiro is screaming like a fool! haha now matt looks like a fool. elle is so sweaty. “it’s coming.” hahaha silly arthur! you big giant glug! y hate ya though! oooh nice shot sylar. arrrgh I hate elle. “gabriel I need you to do something. Find claire bennet, and bring her back to me. You think you can do that?” “yes sir of course I can.” arrrgh I hate what Arthur has done to you sylar. “you okay with this dad?” haha it always seems like he is asking if its ok for him and elle to like date or something. Also arthur’s response seems like that. “I think the two of you together…it’s a good pair.” arrgh I hate arthur’s voice haha im still talking about that scene even though its claire and angela and hrg now. “hey clairebear.” now its petey and nate. aw man I just watched don’t look back and petey had such nice hair and now I am watching this ep and his hair is so short and it is digusting me. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that is so gross!!!!!!!!!!! ewwww ewwww ewwww mohinder’s hand is disgusting also! ewwww for once keep your glove on! dun dun eeeeeeeeeaaaaaoooooohhhhhhhh dun dun aaaahhoooooo “the guy’s a spaz!” “no he’s a time traveler.” hahaha “we had a life together.” “in a dream.” “uh, it was a spirit walk.” hahaha again. “you have to fix hiro.” “what does this say?” “it says you have to fix hiro!”hahaha wuh oh hiro has to go potty! silly claire hrg doesn’t care about the catalyst. actually he only cares about himself. grrrr I hate him!!!!!! turtle! haha thanks little guy! “im a speedster.” hmm do all abilities have like a noun form? speedster. time traveler. hold on. sylar scene. “he thinks claire’s with her father.” “ugh. glasses himself.” “oh sure! responsible!” omz elle. you. are. such. A. fool. “oh god! oh help please help! please!” I HATE YOU ELLE! “she filled me in pretty good. you serial killing scum of the earth” ouch. don’t hit sylar with guns! “I hate heroes.” but…but…but…now you ARE a hero! EWWWWW MOHINDER IS SO NASTY! ok this scene is boring. what was i talking about? oh yeah abilities in noun forms. uuuum empath. regen. “its tracy” its tracy. “smart. the haitian against me. can’t have that.” stop talking arthur i hate your voice!!!!!!! “i guess there’s no rest for the wicked” haha i like that song. “holy crap!” hahahaha. ooooh eclipse! hahah angry arthur! GROSS MOHINDER! hahaha I love when there’s dramatic drums and quick flash of what everyone is up to. its so special. EWWWWWWWWWW GROS GROSSS GORSOILKDSM VSLDKGFSD
DSG’S;S
DGSD
SO SLIMY
GDS\G
NASTY
DF;SLDGL;
SDG’SD
EEWWWWWWWWW
NAKED
GET OFF MY SCREENSDFKLGL;SD,G
G
SDGL;DSGKSDV
S
PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWSH ITS GONE! That was so gross. oh hey its wet petey. how does petey know all this darn stuff? hahahaha “why are you turning your head sideways?” you big giant glug! “that’s right im powerless just like you.” that’s mean nathan! i’m glad you’re dead! “i’m a us senator. you’re a nurse.” yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay it’s the haitian!!!!!!!!!! i love you rene!!!!!!!! hahahaha “hey girls!” hahahahahaha “funny story we are.” oh that was fail… STOP BEATING UP SYLAR HRG!
DFFGFD
FDGDFGVFDB
FDG
DFG
SDKL I HATE YOU! haha claire was shot! nooooooooooooo sylar is hurt! D: haha this scene is so funny cuz its like in slow motion. haha “it sucks but its wonderful.” hahaha “you must not doubt your mission. the corn will keep on coming. only you have the power to stop it.” ewwwwww its mohinder again! oh good he is normal! what a relief! hahaha it’s a piccy of maya. “that’s unacceptable” arrrrrgh arthur just stop talking please! “sheem kom bee!”- new comic book day. “dude, this is so awesome.” hiiiiii rene! hahaha “is he always this quiet?” haha nathan is such a fool because he is like talking in french of something and then that guy talks in english. haha hahahahaha that was so cute! peter tried to crawl away but the hait grabbed him! haha i bet the hait loved that! wowie this ep is almost over. im so darn glad. haha daph looks like a fool. aaaaaaaaaaah sylar is screaming he is in pain aaaaaaaah ok good tyt elle. nooooo his powers aren’t working stupid eclipse! noooooo sylar don’t kiss her! D:

oko. its over.

goosebag i am done! hahaha this took forever!!!

right well see you on wednesday!

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