Characters: Matt Jr., Matt Sr., Janice
Rating: K+
Category: hmm darkish humor?
Summary: Matt Jr. has trouble fitting in at a new school.
Finally.
Finally it was the day. It was the day for which Matt had been waiting for just over five years.
His first day of preschool.
His mommy made him a peanut butter sandwhich for a snack while he stood on chair next to her and stuck his fingers in the jar when she wasn’t looking.
His daddy ran all over the house looking for his other mitten before realizing it clung to the static on his back.
Sometimes his parents could be real idiots.
But he hugged them tightly when it was time to let go, and said “Bye-bye Mommy, bye-bye Daddy.”
His teacher was a nice lady with pretty hair. She told him to sit on the rug with the other children.
But Matt didn’t like the other children. They were sticky and smelled like crayons. And when he tried to play with the building blocks a bigger kid pushed him down.
So Matt turned him off.
He didn’t return to preschool the next day.
Characters/Pairings: a lot! okay let's see... Claire, Gretchen, Emma, Elle, Tracy, Maya, Niki, Molly,
Rating: T (actually this thing is really not approp for a gob.)
Category: humor
Summary: The Heroes Girls have a sleepover
Peter and Sylar’s apartment was overflowing with the sound of giggling. Not from the two of them, of course, but from the 12 females that were sprawled on their couch and floor in their pajamas. That’s right, Claire, Gretchen, Emma, Elle, Tracy, Maya, Niki, Molly,
“Pizza’s here!” Charlie announced, closing the door. The girls squealed happily and ran to grab a slice. Claire selected a large piece of cheese pizza and chomped contentedly on the greasy stuff. This was going to be the best sleepover ever.
“Hey let’s play truth or dare,”
“Dare,” Niki replied, always a bold one.
“Okaaaay, I dare you to…act like a gorilla!” Claire snorted. How ridiculous. She was sooo glad it wasn’t her that had been dared to do something so embarrassing. But Niki was fearless. She got on her feet, took a deep breath, and then began jumping around and making monkey noises. She beat her hands on her chest, and then lifted the entire couch with Maya, Simone, and Molly sitting on it.
“I am gorilla woman!” she cried, sending the entire group into fits of laughter. Niki sat back down. “Your turn,
“Me?” she asked, clearly not wishing to be required to act like any jungle animals. Niki nodded.
“I dare you to…um….prank call Mohinder!” This got much support from the rest of the girls, so
“Okay, anyone have his number?”
“I do,” Maya offered her cell phone. “Just remember to press star-67.”
“Okay, he’s answering,”
“Hello?” came Mohinder’s accented voice.
“Hello…” said
“My refrigerator? Why yes, I believe it is.”
“Oh…then you better go catch it!”
“That was great!” Simone exclaimed, out of breath from laughing so hard. Everyone agreed that had to have been the best prank call ever. When they finally regained somewhat control,
“Okay,” Gretchen agreed. “Um…Claire…I dare you…to kiss me.”
Claire made a disgusted face. “Aww Gretch!” she moaned, “That was bad enough the first time!” Gretchen crossed her arms defiantly.
“Rules are rules,” she said. Claire sighed and turned to face Gretchen. She planted a small kiss on Gretchen’s waiting lips, and then quickly pulled away.
“Ooooooh,” said the other girls. Claire glared angrily. It wasn’t like that! But she quickly got over it and then everyone decided that it was time to do something else.
“Let’s watch a movie!” proposed Lauren.
“Yeah!” everyone cried.
“What movie,” Lauren asked, fingering the titles owned by Peter and Sylar. “Hmmm, how about Star Trek?”
“Which one?” Charlie asked. Thanks to Hiro she was quite the expert on that particular fandom.
“Star Trek eleven,” Lauren clarified. This was a popular idea, so everyone set up their sleeping bags in front of the television, and Elle made popcorn. Once they were all set, Lauren pressed play and added subtitles so Emma could enjoy the movie too.
Not far into the movie,
“Oh yeah baby,” Simone said, watching Captain Kirk get it on with Uhura’s roommate.
“Mmmhm,” murmered Emma.
“I’d hit that,” Molly agreed.
Claire said nothing. She had always thought that Spock, Kirk’s Vulcan friend was so much more attractive than the captain. She thought this might be an unpopular opinion though, so she kept quiet, stealing some more popcorn from the bowl.
The girls chatted throughout the movie, and when it was over they raided Peter and Sylar’s freezer for ice cream. Surprisingly, they found a very large supply. They constructed a very large ice cream sundae and together consumed the entire thing. Claire decided it was the most delicious thing in the entire world.
“I’m going to do your hair,” Elle told Charlie, sitting her down in front of her on the floor. “Lauren, go get some hair styling stuff from the bathroom.”
“How do you know they will have any?”
“Oh trust me,” Elle said with a smirk, “They will.”
And sure enough, Lauren returned, her arms full of assorted hair gel.
“Ah,” said Elle, “That’s perfect.”
“And that’s not all I found in Sylar’s room! Lookey here!” she swung a small black book in front of their faces.
“What’s that?” Emma asked, as she and Elle began spiking up Charlie’s red hair with copious amounts of hair gel.
“Sylar’s diary.” Lauren told them dramatically. The girls laughed excitedly.
“Oooh, gimmee that!” Elle cried, snatching it from her.
“Read it! Read it!” the girls chanted.
Claire chortled imagining the kinds of things Sylar would write in a diary.
Dear Diary,
Today, I killed someone. His brain was delicious. I miss my mommy.
Love,
Sylar
P.S. I love brains.
What she didn’t expect was what came out of Elle’s mouth.
“Dear diary,” Elle read in her best impersonation of Sylar’s voice. “I saw Claire today. She called me an asshole. I’m not sure what I had expected.”
The girls giggled, looking pointedly at Claire, who smirked. At least her remark had made an impression him, enough to write it in his diary.
“Dear diary,” Elle continued, “Today I saw a stuffed bear in the store. It reminded me of Claire. She always has those things in her room. I wonder if she likes them…What the-? Claire, these are all about you!”
“Eww,” said Claire, vaguely creeped out. The other girls snickered. Elle kept going.
“Dear Diary, Peter dragged me to a baseball game. I remembered how much I hate sports and the people who play them. Well, except for a certain cheerleader.”
“Someone’s got a crush,”
“Nuh uh,” said Claire, shaking her head, refusing to believe it. Elle was flipping through the book, possibly trying to find one with a subject other than Claire.
“Oh!” she said, stopping on a recent page and pointing at the words, “Oh hohoho!”
“What?” Claire asked, “What does it say?”
“Dear Diary,” Elle read smugly, “Saw Claire again. She looked stunning, but wouldn’t give me a second glance. At least she has no idea that I love her.”
“Oooooooooooooooh,” said the girls dramatically, staring at Claire, whose face turned bright red.
“Let me see that,” she snapped, grabbing the book. She hoped maybe Elle had just been making it all up, but no. Right there on the page, in the handwriting she recognized from when he had been at her school, were those exact words. She closed the book, feeling slightly nauseous. “Okay that- that’s enough,” she said. The girls agreed, but that didn’t mean they were done talking about boys.
“Well I think Peter’s the cutest,” Emma told them.
“You know what, Emma?” said Lauren seriously, “I think he likes you.”
“Really?” Emma asked, happily, holding a hand to her heart. Lauren nodded.
“Definitely.”
Emma smiled.
“Okay, Molly,” said Maya, “Do, date, and dump. Mohinder, Sylar, and Peter.”
“Huh?” said Molly blankly.
“Mohinder, Sylar and Peter. Who would you do, who would date, and who would you dump?”
“I’m thirteen!” Molly cried. “I don’t want to do anybody!”
“Okay, but hypothetically.”
“Well I would dump Sylar.” Molly replied.
“Why?” Maya asked incredulously.
“Because he killed my parents!”
“But…he’s hot.”
Molly rolled her eyes.
“Okay, what about you Elle?” Maya turned to the blonde, who had finished Charlie’s hair and was now moving on to Simone’s.
“What about me?”
“Do, date, and dump. Mohinder, Sylar, and Peter.”
“Oh. I’ve done all three of them,” she said with a lazy wave of her hand. Maya stared.
“Me, I would dump Mohinder. Because I’ve been there, done that, and I know he’s lousy in bed.”
“So is Nathan,”
“Yeah,” said her sister, nodding in agreement. Then an awkward moment passed between the two of them.
“And I think I’d date Peter because you know, he seems sweet. And I’d SO be all over Sylar like peanut butter on jelly. I kissed Sylar, but I never got further than that. It’s something I’ll always regret. Elle, how is he in bed?”
“Sylar? Amazing.”
“I knew it,” said Maya with a sigh. “Claire, you are so lucky.”
Claire rolled her eyes. She certainly didn’t feel lucky.
“Ladies, the real question here, is would you rather have Peter or Isaac as your boyfriend,” Simone piped up.
“Isaac?”
“Who’s Isaac?”
“Never heard of him.”
“He doesn’t even go here!”
“Whaaaat?!” Simone exclaimed. “Isaac! Isaac Mendez! The painter!”
She only received blank looks.
“Fine,” she snapped, “More for me, I guess.”
Gretchen said nothing, because she didn’t swing that way.
Sometime later, in the middle of the night, the girls were all sitting in their sleeping bags, gossiping away, when the door opened. Peter and Sylar walked into the apartment. Looking stunned to see 12 pajama clad girls decorating their floor.
“Um,” said Peter.
“What the-?” said Sylar.
Claire quickly hid Sylar’s diary behind her back.
“Peter! Sylar!” the girls cried, laughing at how fun the situation had become. Emma, Simone, and Niki grabbed Peter, while Elle, Maya, and
Poor Peter and Sylar were then attacked by the mob of girls. Peter’s face was harassed by
“Peter!” Sylar yelled to his friend, “Help me!”
“I wish I could buddy! I wish I could!”
When the girls were done they stepped back to admire their handiwork.
“Looks good,”
“I’ll definitely remember this forever,” said Charlie.
“Oh, we should take pictures!” said Simone, rushing to get her camera. The girls cheered, but the boys were less than thrilled.
“No, no, no!” they yelled, as pictures were snapped of them and immediately uploaded to Facebook and tagged.
Claire smiled deviously. She did feel kind of bad for Peter, but not for Sylar. It felt like payback. It felt so awesome actually, that she wanted to twist the knife a little bit more. She walked over to Sylar and dangled his diary in front his nose.
“Ohhh Sylar!” she sang. Sylar stared.
“That…what’s that?”
“Your diary.”
“You didn't!”
“Oh yes I did.”
“Claire!” Sylar groaned. “You weren’t supposed to read that!”
“Yeah I kind of gathered that actually. Shall we share an excerpt?”
“No!”
The girls giggled at Sylar’s expense, and after a few minutes of mocking him and quoting lines from his diary, they decided to let the boys go but not without a few reprimands for crashing a girl sleepover, despite their Sylar and Peter frequently reminding them that it was THEIR apartment.
Despite this, Peter and Sylar gratefully wiped off their faces and pulled the ponytails from their hair. They collapsed on the couch, and the girls gathered around them and popped in another movie. It wasn’t long before they had all dosed off. In the morning Sylar made them waffles, and the girls made secret plans to do this again next week.
Sign me up. WAIT I DON'T HAVE A SHOW! I NEED ONE!
ReplyDeleteP.S It's Doctor Who not Dr.who
goosbag! g just pick any show you want!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post g! The fandom wars is going to be fun!!!!!
ReplyDeleteaah i have another one, so its going here.
ReplyDeleteTitle: A Close Fall
Characters/Pairings: "sythan", matt, angela, kinda vague sylaire and clathan
Rating: t
Category: angst
Summary: set sometime after "an invisible thread"
Prompt: task 1-prompt #13; The Empire State Building, a broken piece of glass, and a chocolate doughnut.
It all started with a glass of juice.
All he’d wanted was a simple glass of orange juice. But he’d accidentally dropped the cup and sliced his hand open on a shard of the broken glass. This wouldn’t have been a big deal under normal circumstances. He would have shrugged it off and wrapped his hand in a towel. Except he didn’t need a towel…because his hand had healed.
His hand had /healed/.
/His/ hand had healed.
The only person he knew that could do that was…Claire. His daughter. She didn’t feel like his daughter though. She felt like…well he wasn’t about to admit it but lately he felt vaguely sexually attracted to her. And that was just gross. So needless to say, they haven’t been speaking. So he couldn’t exactly call her…
So who could he call?
No one, he decided. He wouldn’t call anyone. He’d do this alone.
He stood with his arms spread wide, toes hanging over the edge, and then he knew exactly how Peter felt. Not afraid, not lost, not like this was the end…but like this was the beginning. Like he was about to find out something new about himself. And he couldn’t wait to discover what it was.
So very slowly, Nathan Petrelli leapt over the edge of the Empire State Building.
Angela woke with a start, breathlessly mouthing the name of her son. She hoped it wasn’t too late as she dialed the Officer Parkman’s number with shaking fingers.
Nathan didn’t fly. He forced himself not to tap into that power and fell freely. And he certainly felt free. He hit the ground with a loud thump. There was someone waiting for him.
Matt stood silently as “Nathan” picked himself off the ground, wounds healing instantly. He then watched in horror as a terrible transformation occurred before his eyes. Nathan’s face became narrower, his brow thickened, his hair grew longer, he gained a few inches in height. And suddenly there wasn’t a suave politician standing in front of him, but the monster known as Sylar.
“Oh crap,” he breathed.
Then he sprang into action, tackling the Sylar-Nathan hybrid to the ground and forcing his hand over the man’s face.
“You’re not Sylar!” he yelled, “Sylar is DEAD! You are Nathan! NATHAN! Got that, you son-of-a-bitch?!”
Sylar began convulsing, and began to change form again.
“You’re Nathan Petrelli. You can’t heal. You can’t do anything except fly.”
Sylar’s jaw became squarer, his hair shorter.
“Oh, and Claire’s your daughter, you perv,” Matt added, disgusted by some of the things he had found in the man’s head. He looked at Sylar. The murderer disappeared behind his politician mask once again. Matt breathed a sigh of relief.
“Nathan, buddy,” he said, helping the man to his feet.
“Parkman?” “Nathan” asked, his face showing signs of deep confusion. “What am I doing…here?”
“Dunno, I just found you, passed out. Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”
“Nathan” only nodded as he got into the car. Matt hoped he hadn’t gone too deep.
“Here, have a doughnut,” he said, offering the box to “Nathan.”
“Nathan” shook his head, like he was trying to rid himself of some bad thoughts and selected a chocolate one.
and here's another.
ReplyDeleteTitle: Whipped Cream Payback
Characters/Pairings: sylar, peter, claire, noah, mohinder, hiro
Rating: k+
Category: humor
Summary: everyone wants revenge on sylar
Prompt: task 1-prompt #12; A dog leash, whipped cream, and a rubber chicken.
Sylar awoke to the sound of his alarm clock being shot.
“What the-” he mumbled sleepily, opening his eyes to find his tiny motel room crowded with people.
“Good morning,” Noah said cheerfully, lowering his gun.
“Was that really necessary?” Sylar looked at his poor smoking alarm clock. He hated to see a timepiece in pain.
“Well you wouldn’t wake up!” Mohinder cried, throwing his hands into the air.
“And it was about time too,” Claire remarked, rolling her eyes. “I’ve heard just about enough of your snoring.”
“I don’t snore,” Sylar replied defensively, pulling the covers up to his chin at the sight of Claire. If he’d known he would wake up to a crowd, maybe he wouldn’t have slept in only his boxers.
“Sure, sure,” Peter grinned, sitting on the end of his bed. “Come on! Time to get up, buddy.” Peter tried to pull Sylar out of bed, but he refused to go.
“Argh!” Sylar yelled, “Stop!”
“Don’t make me shoot you too,” Noah threatened, waving his gun flamboyantly.
“No biolence!” Hiro cried, stepping in front of Sylar heroically.
“Fine,” Noah snapped, “You have three seconds, to get out of this bed. One…two…okay, that’s it. Peter, Mohinder, you grab his arms. I’ve got his legs.”
Sylar panicked as he felt himself being lifted.
“Noooo! Stop!” he shouted. “Okay, okay! I’ll get up!” And then he was deposited unceremoniously onto the floor.
“Sylar, haven’t you ever heard of pajamas?” Claire asked him. Sylar scowled and quickly grabbed some clothes from his suitcase before disappearing into the bathroom.
“Could someone at least tell me where we’re going?” he asked when he came out of the bathroom, fully clothed.
“No,” Mohinder said tersely.
“Um, no it’s a surprise,” said Peter apologetically. “Also, I’m really sorry about this, but I’m gonna have to ask you to wear this too.” He held up a dog leash.
Sylar blinked. “Excuse me?”
“So we know we’re safe,” Noah explained.
“Um, how does me being on leash make you safe?”
“Duh, it’s a restraint.” Claire said, like it was an obvious fact he was just foolishly overlooking.
“Do not worry, brain-man,” Hiro spoke, “If you wear it we will not harm you.”
“Speak for yourself, Hiro,” Mohinder said bitterly. “Maybe you’ve forgotten, this man murdered my father!”
“And mine!” Claire piped up. “And my mom too!”
“And Elle.”
“And Isaac.”
“And Eden.”
“And Candice.”
“And Ted.”
“And Jackie.”
“And-”
“Okay, okay! I’ve done a lot of bad stuff, I think we get it!”
“Then you see the need for the precaution,” Noah replied.
“It’s a dog leash!” Sylar sputtered.
“A magic dog leash,” Hiro corrected.
Sylar rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever.”
And then Claire took great pleasure in fastening the collar around Sylar’s neck and attaching the leash. Everyone relaxed a bit then.
“Okay, let’s go,” Peter said, and everyone filed out the door.
(it didn't all fit in the first post, so here is "whipped cream payback" continued.
ReplyDelete***
“I feel stupid,” Sylar announced, dragging his feet.
“Good,” Claire retorted, holding tightly onto the end of his leash. Sylar grimaced, pulling at his collar a bit. It wouldn’t have been so bad if there weren’t so many people at this darn carnival where they had taken him. And maybe if it hadn’t been Claire that was controlling his reins.
“You look stupid too,” Mohinder told him.
“Yeah, want a dog biscuit?” Noah asked, smirking.
“That’s enough,” Hiro said, “brain-man is about to do something bery noble.”
“Yeah I…wait, I am?”
Hiro nodded. “Yes, you are.”
“Oh.”
“We’re here,” Claire announced, pulling on Sylar’s leash to get him to stop.
“We’re where?” he asked. All he could see was an empty chair.
“Yup, this is the place,” Mohinder confirmed, pushing Sylar down into the chair.
“Ah, this is gonna be awesome,” Claire stated, tethering Sylar’s leash to a nearby pole.
“What is?” Sylar asked nervously, glancing around.
“Just try to relax,” Peter told him, and draped a plastic sheet over Sylar’s shoulders.
“Peter, wait! What’s going on?!”
“Uh…don’t worry about it.”
“Okay, Mohinder go get the pies,” Noah instructed.
Pies!?
“Peter, I really don’t want any pies thrown at me!” Sylar informed him, finally piecing together what was happening.
“Relax, they’re not real pies, just whipped cream.”
“Well I don’t want whipped cream thrown at me either!”
“Aww, it’s for a good cause!”
“What, revenge?”
“Well, there’s that. But all the money goes to charity too!”
“I don’t care.”
Peter laughed. “Sure you do. Just close your eyes, it’ll all be over before you know it.”
***
Unfortunately, as per usual, Peter was wrong. It most certainly was not all over before Sylar knew it. Over the next two hours, Sylar had whipped cream pies pelted at him by practically everyone he knew.
One by one, they stepped up, were handed a pie and threw it as hard as they could at him. This was particularly alarming in the case of Mohinder. And many people came back several times. He saw little Molly Walker more times than he could count. And Claire must have thrown at least a dozen. But no one threw more whipped cream pies than Noah. He was a complete animal!
Even Peter threw a couple at him. Each time screaming,
“This is for Nathan!”
Actually a lot of people liked to scream holler things at him whilst throwing their pies.
“This is for Isaac!”
“This is for my parents!”
“This is for Alejandrooooo!”
Most people aimed for his face, but he also managed to accumulate a great deal of whipped cream in his hair, on his clothes, and in places he’s rather not mention, despite the plastic sheet that hung over his shoulders. When Peter finally rescued him, accompanied by a Claire with arms full of prizes she’d won at her fun carnival day, he was just about dripping head to toe in whipped cream.
“You’re…a mess.” Peter told him.
“Hmm, I wonder why,” Sylar replied bitterly, running a hand through his whipped cream soaked hair.
“Well look on the bright side,” Claire said, taking a finger and running it across his cheek, then plopping the whipped cream she gathered into her mouth. “Now you taste really good.”
“Speaking of things that taste really good,” said Peter, running his belly. “I’m starved. I say we ditch this place and go to a restaurant for lunch.”
“Um,” Sylar said, gesturing to his whipped cream coated self.
“Oh right, first we better…come on, let’s go hose you down.” Peter grabbed Sylar’s arm and began pulling him away. Claire sauntered after them.
“Hey, Peter, guess what?” she exclaimed. “I won a rubber chicken at the carnival! Here, Sylar you can have it.”
and here's another!
ReplyDeleteTitle: If You Liked It Then You Should Have Put A Ring On It
Characters/Pairings: mohinder, molly
Rating: k+
Category: angst
Summary: mohinder loses it.
Prompt: task 1-prompt #6; An afghan, a taxi, and a missing ring.
Mohinder was in a panic. He was missing lucky ring! His special ring he always wore on his thumb! He looked everywhere!
He looked in his taxi!
He looked in his afghan!
But still no dice! Finally he broke down and started to cry. Molly found the weeping Mohinder sprawled across the floor in a pathetic heap.
“What’s wrong, Momo?” she asked, crouching down next to him.
“I…I lost my lucky ring!” Mohinder sniffled.
“You lost your ring?!” Molly cried. “Why, that’s terrible!”
Mohinder nodded sadly. “And the worst part is, all this hunting for it has distracted me from my father’s research!”
“What a shame,” Molly said. “But Mohinder, I can help you find your ring. I can find it anywhere in the world.”
Mohinder blinked. He had plum forgotten about that!
“Of course!” Mohinder howled, smacking himself in the forehead. “Of course! It’s so obvious!”
Molly smiled, and then closed her eyes in concentration. “Okay…” she said, “Your ring is…oh dear.”
“What?” Mohinder asked, panic rising in his voice. “Where is it?!”
“It’s…it’s not anywhere…”
“Noooooooooooooo!” Mohinder screamed, falling to his knees and shaking his fists angrily. Molly laughed.
“Haha just kidding. Check under your bed.” She clapped Mohinder on the shoulder and then skipped off, probably to color a pretty picture or chase butterflies or something.
Mohinder ran to his room and checked under his bed. There was his ring! He kissed it romantically and then plopped the thing on his finger, vowing never to lose something so precious again. Which reminded him, he ought to call Matt some time.